Guess Who's Back?

Me! I have returned from a 3 week long hiatus spent recovering at my home in Ohio. I feel so relieved, but also a little....empty? now that all of my pressing matters have been attended to. The MCAT went fabulously and I felt much more confident after the test than I did with my first so that was a win. Then the following Monday I had my breast reduction and I just couldn't be happier. The first week was a little rough, not too much pain but a lot of immobility, nausea, and sleeping. I'm now 2 weeks out and the results look so much better than I could have ever expected, I am so pleased!

I tried on strapless dresses that zipped with no difficulty! Amazing! I can already tell how much more confident I feel which is probably the best thing about the surgery for me. I spent a lot of time trying to hide my large chest under baggy clothes and feeling like I held so much more weight than I actually did, leading me to have a slight body dysmorphia complex and leaving me feeling more body-conscious than I should. Now I feel like the person trapped behind those big boobs has finally been set free and I honestly feel like a new woman.

So what now? Now that I don't have to spend hours in the library studying or down time recovering I'm at a loss as to what I need to do. I am working, but I feel strange now that the hard part is behind me. There is much to look forward to this next year, but there hasn't been a time since grade school that I haven't been in school. So weird. I should enjoy it, I know, but honestly I enjoy school and feel happiest when I am learning and when I'm not in school I feel like I've lost my purpose. At least that makes me feel like I know I am heading down a rewarding career path where the learning never ends. In the meantime, I will cherish my free weekends and time spent with friends.

The latest

Hola! Time is flying by and I don't know where it is going. I need to remember to just savor the moments in my day and not constantly look toward the future or plan ahead. Life has been a bit chaotic lately, but in a good way - I think.

Last week my friend Alyssa and I took spontaneous trip to Key West to relax and recharge and it was lovely. I didn't take any pictures because a: I forgot my camera (I said it was spontaneous!) and b: as stated above I've been trying to really live in the moment, enjoy what is happening and not worrying about documenting it or portraying it in a certain way. It felt nice to leave my phone at the hotel and just explore the quaint town of Key West with a good friend, good food, and great drinks. It was only a 24-hour jaunt, but a successful one nonetheless.

On Friday, Rob and I went home to see his family and visit with his adorable niece, Ava. I forget how much I miss having family around until they are gone. We watched the spectacular fireworks in Danvers, visited a number or BBQ's throughout our time there and spent plenty of soaking up the New England summer weather. Someday I'd love to have a little vacation cottage on the Cape where we can spend summers as a whole family together. Dreams...

The only unfortunate part about going home was the noticable absence of Steve, Rob's father. He passed away two years ago in August, and we are still trying to find a way to heal and move forward. I get saddened sometimes thinking abou the relationship we could have had and how close we could have become, but I try not to dwell on it because the "what if's" of life can't be changed. It's nice to see Steve's legacy carry on though through his children who all posess unique aspects of his personality and help to fill the void of his absence. His death truly showed me how precious life is and how each day is a blessing not to be taken for granted. That may sound cliche, but out of loss comes learning and for that I am thankful.

My travels continue this Friday with a trip home to Ohio for my test and big surgery and I am so excited I can hardly wait. I'll try to keep you "abreast" (pun intended) of my progress! Happy July!