Guess Who's Back?

Me! I have returned from a 3 week long hiatus spent recovering at my home in Ohio. I feel so relieved, but also a little....empty? now that all of my pressing matters have been attended to. The MCAT went fabulously and I felt much more confident after the test than I did with my first so that was a win. Then the following Monday I had my breast reduction and I just couldn't be happier. The first week was a little rough, not too much pain but a lot of immobility, nausea, and sleeping. I'm now 2 weeks out and the results look so much better than I could have ever expected, I am so pleased!

I tried on strapless dresses that zipped with no difficulty! Amazing! I can already tell how much more confident I feel which is probably the best thing about the surgery for me. I spent a lot of time trying to hide my large chest under baggy clothes and feeling like I held so much more weight than I actually did, leading me to have a slight body dysmorphia complex and leaving me feeling more body-conscious than I should. Now I feel like the person trapped behind those big boobs has finally been set free and I honestly feel like a new woman.

So what now? Now that I don't have to spend hours in the library studying or down time recovering I'm at a loss as to what I need to do. I am working, but I feel strange now that the hard part is behind me. There is much to look forward to this next year, but there hasn't been a time since grade school that I haven't been in school. So weird. I should enjoy it, I know, but honestly I enjoy school and feel happiest when I am learning and when I'm not in school I feel like I've lost my purpose. At least that makes me feel like I know I am heading down a rewarding career path where the learning never ends. In the meantime, I will cherish my free weekends and time spent with friends.

The latest

Hola! Time is flying by and I don't know where it is going. I need to remember to just savor the moments in my day and not constantly look toward the future or plan ahead. Life has been a bit chaotic lately, but in a good way - I think.

Last week my friend Alyssa and I took spontaneous trip to Key West to relax and recharge and it was lovely. I didn't take any pictures because a: I forgot my camera (I said it was spontaneous!) and b: as stated above I've been trying to really live in the moment, enjoy what is happening and not worrying about documenting it or portraying it in a certain way. It felt nice to leave my phone at the hotel and just explore the quaint town of Key West with a good friend, good food, and great drinks. It was only a 24-hour jaunt, but a successful one nonetheless.

On Friday, Rob and I went home to see his family and visit with his adorable niece, Ava. I forget how much I miss having family around until they are gone. We watched the spectacular fireworks in Danvers, visited a number or BBQ's throughout our time there and spent plenty of soaking up the New England summer weather. Someday I'd love to have a little vacation cottage on the Cape where we can spend summers as a whole family together. Dreams...

The only unfortunate part about going home was the noticable absence of Steve, Rob's father. He passed away two years ago in August, and we are still trying to find a way to heal and move forward. I get saddened sometimes thinking abou the relationship we could have had and how close we could have become, but I try not to dwell on it because the "what if's" of life can't be changed. It's nice to see Steve's legacy carry on though through his children who all posess unique aspects of his personality and help to fill the void of his absence. His death truly showed me how precious life is and how each day is a blessing not to be taken for granted. That may sound cliche, but out of loss comes learning and for that I am thankful.

My travels continue this Friday with a trip home to Ohio for my test and big surgery and I am so excited I can hardly wait. I'll try to keep you "abreast" (pun intended) of my progress! Happy July!

Dad's Day

Father's day is a particularly difficult day in our household, but nevertheless we are wishing all the dad's out there a happy day. We lost Rob's father two years ago this August, and I grew up largely without a father in my life so instead, we are celebrating Rob being a dad to our little MJ.

This morning I cooked a breakfast feast for the two of us and the smell of frying bacon reminded me of summer mornings spent at my Nana's sitting on the sun porch while my Granddad manned the kitchen. Even though I haven't had the strongest male presence in my life, I am so thankful for Rob and the man that he is now and will be to our future children. I see the way he acts with his niece and how he treats the women in his life and I know that he will provide that special bond between a father and a child that mom's can't seem to compete with.

 I hope everyone takes some times today to cherish the memories of their father figures or share some special moments with them today. Cheers dad's!

Hi There

You guys, I know I have been soooo negligent. I feel bad. Truly I am such a boring soul right now though. The good news is that I am just moments away from submitting my medical school applications which means I will be back to my semi-regular posting soon!

Here is a picture of what my days consist of when I am not studying, working, or applying. Also I want you to know MJ is alive and well!

Also, today I found out through missingmoney.com that I have a paycheck from 4 years ago waiting for me to collect - cha-ching! $$

I'm alive

Sorry for the blogging hiatus! I've been busy and haven't remembered to keep true to my loyal (3) followers! I've been doing a lot of studying since, unfortunately for me, I didn't do as well on my MCAT as I'd hoped and opted to take it again (major bummer) and I am in the middle of putting the finishing touches on my med school applications (even major-er bummer). Currently I am sitting in the library checking out the male anatomy - in a textbook alas.

On the upswing, it is nice out today and hopefully after some more studious behavior I will reward myself with some pool time and a skinnygirl pina colada. I am addicted to that drink, it is just too good!
I will try not to forget you all in my absence, but bear with me for my life is truly uninteresting right now.

I do have some big news to share, however! Yesterday I scheduled my breast reduction/lift!! This may not be exciting to you, but honestly I am so over the moon! For years I've struggled with the burdens of big boobies, and some of you may say big boobs are no burden, but let me tell you....they are. I ballooned out in eight grade and my lady lumps haven't stopped growing since, ugh! Soon I will be able to go into a store and have a dress fit the same in the waist and the bust, and not have to search out every flowy/empire waist garment to reinforce the fact that yes, I DO have a waistline. And the bikinis, oh the bikinis! I will no longer have to special order them and pay gazillions of dollars! As you can see I am really excited. It's happening in July, and it can't come soon enough.

That's all I've got for you for now. I'll try to keep up to date with some interesting (or at least not absent) content. Have a good weekend!

Happy Hump Day!

I love/hate that saying- hump day, you? My Wednesday started off with bumper to bumper traffic in the pouring rain on my way to work, but was made better with a Dunkin' Donuts Vanilla Latte and some Munchkin's. Sometimes you just need a doughnut, ya know?

To rebound from yesterday's downer post I will give you a picture of the cutie pie, MJ.

I mean, look at that face.

I still can't believe we have a dog, but I'm glad that we do. She is just a bundle of love. 

Other highlights today included me successfully recognizing osteoarthritis in a patient and recommending a proper course of treatment when prompted by the doctor I'm working with, as well as a case of avascular necrosis. I was pretty proud of myself since I've only been exposed to orthopedics for 2 weeks. The doctor I am working with is so helpful in describing his diagnostic techniques and is eager to help me really learn and understand the ins and outs of what he does. It reinforces my desire to become a doctor, no matter how stressful and trying the process is at times. 

Also, the Revenge season finale is on tonight so I am pretty pumped. All is well in the world. 

A little bit of honesty

Lately I've been feeling kind of low, lacking that joie de vivre, so to say. Nothing in my life is particularly bad per se, but I can't seem to shake that feeling of lethargy during the day and lack of enthusiasm for practically everything. Some may say it's just a funk or a phase, but what concerns me is that it's been for a prolonged period now and I am noticing signs - signs that I had back in 2007 when I hit a really rough period in life. I was medicated then for depression and a few other issues, and stayed on my medication for about 2 years, finally weaning off it after I felt that I was getting better. Today I made an appointment with my old psychiatrist to sort out what's going on and see if she has any informative medical insight.

I know mental health is a hot button issue for a lot of people. Many don't believe in therapy or psychiatric help, or simply think it is for seriously "crazy" people. But let me tell you honestly, both therapy and medication helped me tremendously when I needed it desperately. I tend to be the type of person who holds a lot of things inside, and tries to deal with any negativity or anger in an internalized way. Going to therapy helped me learn how to open up about my problems and concerns and work through a lot of things that I had been holding on to for a long time. My family has had a long history of mental health issues, and therefore I have a genetic predisposition to certain conditions and I've seen and felt the mental and physical toll that such issues can take on an individual. That being said, I find it to be SO important to keep my mental health in check just as I would my physical health. Yes, it sucks feeling this way, but there are so many resources I have to help treat and prevent any more serious issues from arising. I don't think I should be embarrassed to admit there is something going on, and seek some kind of remedy, be it medication or otherwise. 

Hopefully this feeling will subside, and I remind myself every day that I have so many things in my life to be thankful for and so many blessings to count. As much as I would like my life to be sunshine and roses all the time, it simply isn't and no one's can be. I just need to take it one day at a time and know that this too shall pass. 

Lazy Days

It has been raining for four straight days, and I think it is the universe's way of telling me that I am totally justified in lying around in sweatpants and catching up on my blogs and books. It's supposed to clear up today and I hope to take a nice walk around Hammock Park with the pup and Rob. Last night we braved the ominous rain clouds and headed out for buckets of Corona at a little waterfront eatery. Every time we go to this place it reinforces my need for a boat. Okay, maybe I don't need one, but I really want one. Without a boat I can only experience 54% of Florida lifestyle, the other 46% must be experienced on the sea. Alas...

And puppy finally has a name! Her name is MJ, the initials stand for a variety of things because she's cool like that. She is adjusting well to her new pampered lifestyle.

This week has been kind of a bust for me in terms of productivity, but I did start working with an orthopedic surgeon, and MAN is it busy. He is really helpful and informative and I think the time I spend with him will help me learn a great deal. He's already given me an assignment to study rotator cuffs and the dermatomal distribution of the lower back - joy! Now you know how I'll be spending my weekend, hope you all have an exciting one as well! 

Weekend Updates

Hola amigos! I'm back from a quick weekend trip to Los Angeles where I saw my sister graduate from her Masters program at USC. She's a smart one, and pretty beautiful as well if I do say so myself.

 (with her professor)

She was also blessed to get a job at a great PR firm in Santa Monica that she starts this week - I'm a proud sis. 

While there I spent some qt (quality time) with my mom and sister playing euchre, shopping, and of course....eating. We all consider ourselves avid food enthusiasts and took advantage of some of the amazing restaurants that Los Angeles has to offer. I probably gained 10 lbs this weekend, but I don't even mind since I got to taste some life changing ravioli at Osteria Mozza, for real. I forgot to take pictures at most dinners because I was too busy inhaling the food, but here are some snaps from the weekend. 

Blueberry Mimosas at breakfast

Giant pancakes at the Griddle Cafe 

Fruit tarts at the Grove Farmer's Market

Some other highlights of the trip included a night at the Laugh Factory, a comedy club in downtown LA which made me laugh so hard I was close to tears, Euchre games by the pool, and an Arnold Schwarzenegger/ Maria Schriver sighting at the graduation.  I'm happy to be back, but I so needed that family time. 

And some other exciting news....we got a puppy today! She is a rescue Manchester Terrier/Dachshund mix! We are still working on a name, any suggestions?

I've got the blues.

Does anyone else get that weird empty feeling upon coming home after a vacation? I am suffering that now. Perhaps it's because I am in a strange transition period where I have to figure out what to do for the next year and it hit me today that I need to get on it...or the fact that my MCAT scores come out this evening and I really have no idea what to expect, or possibly because I spent a wonderful weekend relaxing with friends and it seems so cruel that it's already over. Either way, I'm feeling the blues a little bit.

On a brighter note, our cruise was amazing. I had so much fun with my friend Emily and her boyfriend Adam and of course my love, Rob. We all tried to sneak alcohol on to the ship (I'd done this successfully on a previous cruise) to cut back on the alcohol bill,  however my bag was the only one that came back unscathed. The others had their goods confiscated - and let me tell you, we weren't the only ones. People got creative! One man had his liquor in IV bags, and another couple upon hearing ours got confiscated said they put theirs in old Listerine bottles and used food coloring to make it green. Pretty Impressive. 
Besides that minor setback, our trip went off without a hitch and we spent my birthday on Norwegian's private island in Great Stirrup Cay, sipping on beers in the water and taking our fair share of tequila shots, and then explored Atlantis in the bahamas on Sunday.

Unfortunately, like the dummy I tend to be, I forgot my nice camera and so I had to rely on the pictures that Emily took to document the trip. Here are a few of the highlights:

Great Stirrup Cay - on the ferry back to the ship. 

On the deck before dinner

the other lovely couple

breaking the cardinal rule of kissing pictures- no puckering! 

A bit of poetry!

I've done it! I finished my post bacc. program tonight woot woot! For those of you who are unaware of what a post-bacc. is (as I was before I became one) it just means that I enrolled in a program to take all of the undergraduate science courses I need to apply to medical school since I was a non-science major in undergrad - film and theatre to be exact. I know, a big leap. I actually feel more relieved/happy today than I did when I graduated college. Now comes the daunting task of actually applying to med schools... I don't want to talk about it.

Anyway, as I finish this chapter of my life I find that a poem I wrote in eighth grade still applies. Prepare to be dazzled by this poetic wonder:

School sucks ass, I'd rather be harassed.
The book work is hard,
And all they feed us is lard,
And I'll be lucky if I ever pass.
That is why school sucks ass.

I know- genius. This is just a sampling of the works collected into my book titled "Poems of Profanity". When I say book I mean standard composition notebook a la Harriet the Spy. Perhaps I will share more one day, but the others are actually kind of crude. Why was I writing poems of profanity at 13, you ask? Teen angst I guess? I think I still deal with adult angst is that real?

I actually love school, learning at least, or else I wouldn't be pursuing 8 more years of it, but organic chemistry will bring out the worst in you, what can I say. Indeed, I did pass though, and I get no pomp or circumstance to celebrate. I will just leave you with a picture of my actual graduation 2 years ago and pretend that it was today. :)

Oh yeaaa

The finace, then boyfriend.

Forgive the picture quality and squinting. South Florida sun will do that to you. 

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Cinco de Mayo, obviously. Also, coincidentally, my birthday! Feliz cumpleanos to moi! I like to mix it up with the languages - it keeps me cultured. I don't actually think that my birthdate was a coincidence though since I happen to love all things Mexican. Particularly margaritas, tacos, and guacamole in no particular order, but with margaritas definitely topping the list.

This year, as I mentioned, I will be cruising the USA which will make all other birthdays exponentially inferior. Truth be told, my birthday snuck up on me this year. I have been too busy thinking about finals and applications and MCATs and all the other shitty things that go along with that. However, today it has finally sunk in that my day of deliverance is upon me and I am pretty excited. The best part about it is that everyone else on the cruise will be celebrating right along with me - cinco de drinko, y'all!

In anticipation of the superior holiday, and my blessed day of birth, I will leave you with a recipe for a delicious spin on the margarita, the BEER margarita! What could be better. This is the recipe from pinterest that I pictured in a previous post.

Ingredients:

• (1) 12 ounce can frozen limeade concentrate

• 12 ounces cherry flavored soda

• (1) 12 ounce bottle of your favorite beer (I used Corona Light)

• 12 ounces of your favorite tequila

• Kosher salt, for rimming glass

• Lime for garnish

• Cherries for garnish

• Instructions:

Rub lime wedge around rim of each glass; dip in kosher salt.

In a large pitcher, mix all ingredients and stir with a wooden spoon to combine.

Serve over ice (if desired) & garnish with a lime wedge & cherry.

Yes, please. 

Just a thought.

When I was applying to colleges what seems like many, many years ago I couldn't get out of Ohio fast enough. I wanted to see the world, broaden my horizons. Now, after spending so much time in a city that I have a love/hate relationship with, and getting engaged it's made me really miss the people in my life that love me for being me - namely my family. Let me say that I love my fiance, we are best friends and I am perfectly happy spending my days with him, but I miss being able to see my mom, drive a hot minute to see my sister, or hang out with family on any given night.

Rob has so many wonderful friends that he grew up with that are all still so close, and thankfully through the 4+ years we've been together they have afforded me the same friendship they've always given him. This is a picture from our engagement party in Massachusetts with most of the aforementioned friends in tow along with his side of the family that I love just as much as my own. I miss this.

Hopefully someday I can have all the people that I love close by - that would be nice. (Preferably everyone will move south so I don't have to deal with the cold... brrr!)

The end is near...

My 6 year stint is coming to an end and I couldn't be happier. Finals are this week and after Thursday evening I will be free from the chains of undergraduate education. Even though I've already graduated, this time it feels real. I will have a whole year free of studying. That is a beautiful thought. While I know (hope) that I will have a medical school acceptance for the fall of 2013 it is still nice to think that I can have one blissful year to focus on things other than school- like our wedding!

Here are some things currently keeping me going:
1. The cruise we are taking this weekend with some best friends

2. Pinterest inspirations for summer cocktails

3. Spending some quality time with my man

I hope to share some fun pictures of our weekend getaway upon my return!